An Artist: To Be or Not To Be

April showers bring may flowers! This saying ties in perfectly with my blog today, the idea that any one thing that happens creates another thing to happen.

I think we all can agree that there have been times in our lives where we have no idea where we are going in life or why. In fact, there's a major part of me that doesn't even know where I'm going with this blog post! But this is life, and we trudge through hoping to make some sense of it all. Well, there is hope, and I'm here to share it with you! But first, I must tell you a bit of my story in hopes that you may see it through my eyes.

For like everyone, it all started with Genes. My genetics play a large part in who I am as well as my experiences. Ever since I was young I knew I wanted to be an artist, but the older I became the more I thought I wasn't going to be an artist for my career. As I made my way past the insecurities of high school, I still thought that I'd end up in University for something related to mathematics or engineering. Even as grade twelve crept in, I researched Architecture programs with no doubt that that's what I wanted. But as the time came to apply, I backed up and asked myself "do you really want to design houses for the rest of your life?" to which I could answer my own question "well, no.." So then what the heck was I supposed to do?! It was the biggest decision of my life! (Or at least at the time.)

My mom and my grandma suggested Animation because I liked drawing and I liked working in 3-D. So out of desperation and in uncertainty, I hurriedly whipped together a portfolio and applied to a few animation programs. And I didn't get accepted! I was not good enough. Therefore, even more so out of the desperation of wanting to go to school for something, I found a program called Pre-Animation for those who still needed to refine their skills before applying to animation. No portfolio necessary.

You're not going to be surprised when I tell you I didn't enjoy the program very much, but I felt like I had to keep going. Besides, I was doing well at it.

And here's where my story has a jump-start!

It came time to apply to the animation program (which pre-animation students basically automatically get in), and as long as I handed everything in on time I was guaranteed acceptance! How easy - on to my career! However, some how, as I cannot remember to this day, I was late submitting. I was considered with all the other thousands of applicants and put on the waiting list. Another closed door! I had to figure something else out, and quick! So I became an Introduction to Fine Arts student at that same college, still waiting to get a call from the Animation program...which never came.

The thing is, I loved the painting, drawing, and mixed media courses I took in my new program!

All throughout high school I wanted to go to University because I thought that was where all the "smart" people go. But now, being in college for two years, there was no way I wanted to go to University! I'd have to go to school for at least another four years and I would have to choose which medium I would major in. I couldn't do it. But the Fine Arts program gave me a hunger for working in the 3-D - which led me to the Sculpture program at Haliburton School of the Arts!

Now let me tie this in with hope.

As a Christian, I believe in the bible and it's contents to be of absolute truth. In the beginning, God created everything! To sum it up in a few sentences, God created everything including man/woman, and gave them choice. Man/woman sinned and continued sinning, so God sent his perfect son, Jesus, to take our punishment for our sins by dying a horrible death. Jesus rose from the dead to prove that sin can be conquered and then returned to his Father in heaven. This shows us his great love and mercy and gives us the reason we live - to glorify him and share him with others, that we might all celebrate in heaven with God/Jesus for eternity. As a Christian, this is where my hope comes from. God is ultimately in control and uses even bad things to create something good!

So going back to my story, if I did apply for Architecture, I would have never been humiliated by not being accepted to Sheridan for Animation. But, if I had not been embarrassed by my failure, I wouldn't have ended up at Algonquin for Pre-Animation. If I hadn't gone to Algonquin, I would have never met an amazing man named Robert Staal (who I met at the church I was attending across the street from where I stayed). And if I wasn't late with my portfolio submission for Animation, I wouldn't have taken the Intro to Fine Arts. And if I hadn't taken Intro to Fine Arts, I would have never even thought to take sculpture (which, I found, is my passion by far), and if I ended up going to University, I wouldn't be married to that amazing man I met because I'd still be in school!

God knew this all, and I just had to trust Him step by step. Looking forward is always unknown, but looking back I can see His hand in everything, which allows me to look to the future with hope.

I'm a freelance artist, married to a wonderful hard-working husband, and I am able to do what I do because of him and his support.

God knows what'll be next in store for me, but one thing I do know: an artist I'll be!

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This blog was a bit longer than usual, so thank you for keeping tuned in!

Even if you don't believe in God the way I do, you still gotta admit that there's something more out there because of the way everything connects so intricately: there's no such thing as chance. And I think you'll find that you cannot run from what you were made to do. Even if you make the wrong choices, those choices often make it take longer to get to where you're meant to be.

It would be super cool to hear your thoughts on this! Post your comments below!

#story #artist #hope #tobeornottobe